August 12, 2017

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

The American Academy of Cuisine Sciences has released a double-blind placebo-controlled survey proving conclusively that food is more nutritious if prepared while wearing a little skirt. A study of 317 chefs was broken into 3 groups: women in pants and a blouse, dudes, and women in mini-skirts. The 3rd group in all cases produced more nutritious food according to the following statistics:

• Higher vitamin contents.
• Decreased triglycerides.
• Mega protein.

The specific cause is not known, but it is speculated that the 3rd group's better nutritional performance correlates strongly with increased likelihood of double-entendre occurring while thusly attired.